Every year, my wife and I devote the month of November to convincing our children that, while they sleep, their plastic …
A writer is someone who has taught their mind to misbehave.
Dear Miley. I can’t stop listening to #GetItRight (great song, great message, great body), but maybe you need a quick grammar lesson. One particular line causes concern: “I been laying in this bed all night long.” Miley, technically speaking, you’ve been LYING, not LAYING, an irregular verb form that should only be used when there’s an object, i.e. “I been laying my tired booty on this bed all night long.” Whatever. I’m not the best lyricist, but you know what I mean. #Get It Right The Next Time. But don’t worry, even Faulkner messed it up. We all make mistakes, and surely this isn’t your worst misdemeanor. But also, Miley, did you know the tense here is also totally wrong. Surely you’ve heard of Present Perfect Continuous Tense (I HAVE BEEN LYING in this bed all night long [hopefully getting some beauty sleep?]). It’s a weird, equivocal, almost purgatorial tense, not quite present, not quite past, not quite here, not quite there. Somewhere in between. I feel that way all the time. It kind of sucks. But I have a feeling your “present perfect continuous” involves a lot more excitement than mine. Anyway, doesn’t that also sum up your career right now? Present. Perfect. Continuous. And Tense. Intense? Girl, you work it like Mike Tyson. Miley, I love you because you’re the Queen, grammatically and anatomically speaking. And you’re the hottest cake in the pan. Don’t ever grow old. Live brightly before your fire fades into total darkness. XXOO Sufjan
When anyone asks about my interests or hobbies, I hesitate to mention crafts. Typically I say “reading and hanging out with friends” or “music and movies” â anything that makes me sound more like a…
Summer jobs are often romantic; the time frame creates a perfect parenthesis. Chadwick’s, a local ice-cream parlor, was not. Hard and physical, the job consisted of stacking and wiping and scooping and lifting. I wasn’t sure yet that I wanted to be an actor. I was planning to go to Boston College as an English major and maybe become a teacher.
"…making people laugh released a certain kind of hot lava into my body that made me feel like a queen.”
I agree with Amy. “It’s important to know when it’s time to turn in your kazoo.”
See my blog post on leaving a job behind and looking ahead at: http://mallorywevans.wordpress.com/2013/10/06/a-sigh-of-relief/
The Mark of Zorro | Put up the Bunting
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